The shape of a Vietnamese wedding speech
Almost every speech at a Vietnamese wedding follows the same five steps:
- Greet the eldest present, the grandparents, and the relatives of both families.
- Say who you are and which family you speak for.
- State which ceremony this is, and for which couple.
- Ask permission, accept, or give thanks — depending on your role.
- Wish the couple well, wish the guests well, and thank everyone.
Name the ceremony correctly
Lễ Vu Quy takes place at the bride’s home; it is the ceremony of sending the daughter to her husband’s family. Lễ Tân Hôn takes place at the groom’s home; it is the welcoming of the bride. When both families hold it together it is lễ Thành Hôn. Standing in the bride’s home and saying “lễ Tân Hôn” is a mistake the whole room hears.
Things that steady the nerves
- Keep it under three minutes. The guests are hungry and the room is warm.
- Print it large, break the lines where you breathe, and mark where you pause.
- Read it aloud at least twice before the day.
- Speak slower than feels necessary. Nervous people always speed up.
- Look up a few times, especially when you name the couple and when you give the wishes. You do not have to look up throughout.
What to avoid
- Old stories only a few people understand, and anything about an ex.
- Jokes about money, weight, or having children.
- Naming too many people — someone always gets left out and notices.
- Reading it exactly as generated. One sentence of your own changes the whole speech.